I might even surprise myself
Well, this pushes me out of my comfort zone, which is always a good thing (thanks, Shannon). Even though I have no problems sharing my thoughts, I’m usually not very good at sharing things about my personal life, which brings me to my #1:
1. I’m very hard to get to know
Especially in person.
I’m quiet when you first meet me and I’m way more of a listener than a talker. When I am asked questions, I tend to give very short answers. I’m not much of a conversationalist or maybe I’m just too focused on myself and what others think of me…hmmm…interesting…
I think it took me a good 5-10 years to really open up to my best friend (she’s probably the most patient person ever).
I’m trying but it’s definitely hard when it’s in my nature to just be quiet.
2. I’m stubborn as a mule
My dad told me a story of when he took me to the dentist when I was a wee child. I had to get 4 teeth pulled which meant they had to put me under. Apparently, the dentist was baffled that, given the amount of medication they used, I was still not asleep. Apparently I fought to stay awake.
I don’t know if I was stubborn or just have a high tolerance for drugs.
I’m even more stubborn when someone tells me I can’t do something. It just makes me want to do it more but I’m currently taking a page out of Jeff Bezo’s book and learning to be stubborn on the vision but flexible on the details.
3. I hate having my feet covered when I sleep
Does heat travel up through the feet? I don’t know but I feel way too hot when my feet are covered by the covers. I’ll often have my them sticking out while the rest of me is all snuggled up under my blanket.
4. I wish I was a better fighter
Physically would be nice but I’m talking emotionally. I tend to shut the world out (and every one else) when we have an argument. Maybe it’s my stubborn nature or pride but it’s like an instinctual defense mechanism that pops its ugly head up every time I sense danger. Protect myself at all costs!
I hate it but I don’t know how to fight it off.
So I wish I was a better communicator and a more productive fighter because small disagreements turn into 2 days of glaring and one word responses and I know it doesn’t need to be that way.
5. I wish I liked cooking
I’ve mastered a few dishes (fried rice anyone?) but I actually don’t really like cooking that much.
I wish I did.
Dealing with meat, chopping up vegetables, grating stuff…it’s not that fun for me. I’d much rather do the dishes.
6. My sisters and I can speak a Chinese dialect that none of my cousins can
We had the privilege of living with the grandparents which means, that Cantonese is not my first language, it’s actually Chiu Chow. My sisters and I are the only ones who can still speak it (although not that fluently anymore) and understand it.
7. I want to have a boy
I don’t know why but most people are surprised when I say I want a boy — is it because I’m a woman? It’s a weird connection people make.
Anyways, I’ve always wanted an older brother and I’m the oldest of 3 girls (my poor papa). A boy would definitely bring a different dynamic to the house especially since our families are full of girls (my sister-in-law already has 3 girls of her own and my cousins have a few girls too).
My family is being overrun by females so a boy would bring a nice balance and be a nice change to the family.
8. I don’t wear makeup
Except for a bit of concealer under my eyes, my face is usually makeup free. The last time I wore a face full of makeup was at my wedding 2 years ago. I have no idea how to put on mascara (my eyelashes are almost non-existent anyway) and forget about blush and lipstick. I’ve just never liked the feel of having something on my face plus I don’t want to spend 15 minutes of my evening washing makeup off.
9. I’m always in awe of awesome speakers
Not like professional speakers (even though they are pretty impressive) but people who are great conversationalists. People who are concise and can speak with feeling, someone who can really captivate an audience whether they’re in a big group or one-one-one; people who are listened to when they speak.
If I ever need to present something, I practice and practice over and over (I could’ve probably made it as an actress because I can memorize lines pretty well…alas). My biggest wish is to have the ability to improvise on the spot and be completely coherent.
10. I’m not that scared to die, I’m more scared that I’ll live a long life
The truth is we’re all going to die. I’m not scared of the eternal darkness that will befall on us. It’s the way life works.
I’m more scared of living a long life that’s filled with compromises and unpursued dreams.
Death isn’t scary, it’s kind of a peaceful idea actually. The idea of looming death pushes us to our boundaries and makes us pursue those forgotten dreams. The idea of death motivates us to live our best life.
The problem with life is that we like to believe that we’re all immortal, that we will live forever, so we don’t really try. We might do a half-ass job of trying but then we’ll give up because we’ll have another day. The truth is we might not so there’s no better time than now to start doing something you love even in the smallest of ways.
There aren’t too many things I’m afraid of but living in an empty shell day after day full of regrets from yesterday is not my idea of a life well lived.
Some bonuses for you:
11. My sister and I (and even my mom)are almost the same size in clothing and shoes which means I have 4x the wardrobe.
12. I don’t binge watch Netflix that often but if I find a good Hong Kong drama, my whole weekend is gone.
13. I have 2 cats. I never thought I was a cat person but I love them to pieces. They do things on their own terms and are so much easier to take care of than dogs. I love dogs too (my sister has two of them) but cats are probably more my style with their gentle purring and independent nature.