Money has always been a sticking point for me. Most of my decisions was always based on how much money I would need to spend and how much I could save.
I’ve always had a scarcity mentality when it comes to money. I grew up with both my parents working manual labour jobs to support the my sisters and I and my grandparents. I never felt like our family was lacking anything but McDonald’s was definitely considered a treat for us.
Every money lesson I know, I learned from my parents and because of their teachings, I knew how to save.
Boy, did I know how to save. I mean I still have clothes from 10 years ago.
I always knew the value of money (or at least thought I did) but since meeting my husband, I’ve learned so many more lessons, ones I wish I knew growing up.
There are some things that are simply worth spending on
There are some things worth spending the money even if it doesn’t make financial sense to do so.
Like paying someone to change my tires even though we can do it ourselves or going out to eat when we can make dinner at home, or paying for dinner when we go out to eat with family and friends (there are still times I feel like he does it too often).
Not every decision is or should be about the cost. Some decisions should be based on how spending the money can make our lives easier or fuller.
Sometimes spending the money is about the experience, convenience, or about being generous when we can. Luxury is in the eye of the beholder and we all deserve a little luxury in our lives.
But we should still keep an eye on the costs
My husband has a more balanced perspective when it comes to money. As much as he believes that money should be spent, he also knows the value of it. After all, we work hard for our money.
There are no extravagant expense. We don’t fly first class or have 3 course dinners every night. We make a comfortable living and we now have a kid so extravagance is not in our current vocabulary or really ever was even before children.
He will get his clothes dry cleaned and custom made but also make coffee at home because he doesn’t think a $5 coffee is worth it.
He knows there are some things worth spending on and some that aren’t.
You don’t always need to spend that much time thinking about every purchase
My husband and I have very different shopping experiences.
When I see a shirt, I go back and forth wondering if I should buy it. I’ll go back to the store, browse around. My indecision is one of the reasons I don’t shop much in-store or online. Even I annoy myself.
When my husband finds a shirt he likes and fits him, he’s at the register. He doesn’t need to go to another store or browse around. It’s just in and out with a new shirt in hand.
Obviously some bigger purchases require us to spend more time researching and/or budgeting but not every purchase needs hours of introspective thinking and analysis.
There were days where I would drive an extra 10 minutes or walk a few extra blocks if I knew I could buy the same thing for cheaper elsewhere. But I know now that spending a couple dollars more for the same thing is (lucky for me) not going to break the bank and leave me in the poor house.
As the saying goes, “time is money” but I argue that time is more valuable than money. Time is more most valuable resource. We have absolutely no control over it but we can choose how we use it and spending time mulling over an extra dollar or two is just not worth it (anymore).
I’ve always been cautious with my money and now with a new baby, I need to be even more cautious with how I spend it.
But money should not take up as much space in my mind as it does. I’ve often had an imbalanced way of looking at money, often prioritizing it over everything else.
My husband has and is still teaching me to view money with a more balanced perspective. As much as the money matters, living a life means more.