We all want to be the best version of ourselves at any given time, but lets be honest, that’s not possible. No matter how we try, we can’t be our best selves 100% of the time. We all have insecurities and flaws, something that triggers the devil to come out in us and we end up saying something or acting in a way we regret; we become a different version of ourselves, for better or worse under different circumstances and situations.
At any given time, can we honestly say this is me at my very best?
If you were given the choice to be you, exactly who you are right now, would you want to be that person? I know I’ve regretted what I’ve said or how I’ve acted countless times. After 3 decades, I am still a work in progress, but that’s a good thing — it means I’m not done growing. At every point in our lives, we are all work in progresses just striving to be better than the person we were yesterday.
We’re going to have moments of judgment, guilt, regret; we may think, say or do something and immediately hope that that karma is on vacation that day. But as much as we hate ourselves after those slip ups, it’s also a chance to learn from them.
When we’re not on our best behaviour, that’s the best time to take notes on:
What makes us tick
We all have our triggers, a pet peeve, an annoyance that causes us to go into a fit of rage, temper tantrum, or flying insults that we immediately regret. Often these triggers of bad behaviour stems from our values or how we’ve been brought up. If something conflicts with our value system, our flight or fight mode goes into high alert. Although there’s no physical danger, our mind and body are preparing for an attack so it’s no wonder we’re at our worst behaviour when we encounter something that makes us tick.
If we’re going into a situation where you know you’re going to be annoyed, prepare for it.
- You know what the drive home at 5pm is going to be like, leave 15 minutes earlier or later.
- If there’s that one person that makes your blood boil at a party, avoid them like the plague if you can.
It’s not often we get thrown into situations we’re not familiar with. Know what makes you tick, prepare for it and take a deep breath.
The person we want to be
Do you know someone who knows exactly how to act in every situation? They’re calm, decisive, patient, knows exactly what to say to diffuse a situation; or maybe they’re creative, can throw out a great punchline and an excellent conversationalist.
Who wouldn’t want to be that person?
I want to be that person.
Whoever that is to you, emulate them. Take a breath before you speak or act.
We say things in the heat of the moment and instantly regret it but if we slowed our breathing and asked ourselves “What would so and so say?” Those 4 words could save you from a day’s worth of regret. I’m not suggesting we change our entire being to emulate this person but if we know we’re not going to like the way we react, then why react that way?
We know the person we want to be. Act accordingly.
The person we don’t want to be
On the flip side, we have a pretty good idea of the person we don’t want to be. The hardest part is admitting when we are that person. We know when that person shows up. It’s the person who’s inadvertently rude to the waiter, the gossiper and the person who’s put off yet another workout.
Take note of when that version of you shows up, what you don’t like about them and what sparked them to make an appearance.
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” — Unknown
We can’t be the best version of ourselves 100% of the time. We go back to bad habits, bad actions, bad thoughts. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Take note, learn from it, change it and grow from it.
Originally published at possiblepursuits.com on May 20, 2018.